Lighthousecoaching is a blog on romantic relationships. Posts explore relationships through articles, but also quotes, poems, photos by influential artists, philosophers, researchers, thinkers and writers.

I don't know when it all started...

“I don’t know when it all started to go wrong”, I hear sometimes couple say to me.

“It’s just been a build up: a build-up of feeling like I come at the bottom of the list, a build up of resentment for not feeling like I matter to him, a build up of trying to bend over sideways to please her, with no success.”

Sometimes, the attachment bond we have with our partner slowly erodes. Unlike a sudden crisis such as an affair or a loss, or a significant event that brutally disrupts our relationship, slow erosion can be very vicious because they happen subtly, almost without us really noticing them…

Before we know it, we find ourselves sitting on the couch at different ends, no longer touching, no longer kissing, wondering what has happened to us, brushing it under the infamous carpet of “that’s how married life goes”…

What do you do when you feel disconnected from your partner? Are you able to express your longings for closeness? Or is it too difficult for you to do? Do you fear being rejected if you did so?

I'm afraid to let you in again...

When it's been too long...