Edith and William's dance...

“And he could not speak to her of what he took to be her unhappiness. When he attempted to do so, she accepted what he said as a reflection upon her adequacy and her self, and she became morosely withdrawn from him as she did when he made love to her. He blamed his clumsiness for her withdrawal and took upon himself the responsibility for what she felt.” - From the novel Stoner, by John Williams.

I'm afraid to let you in again...

When I did, you hurt me so badly, I don’t think I can ever trust you again. I don’t think I can ever put myself out there like I did: it would be too dangerous, too scary. So I prefer to stay quiet, not to ask for what I need from you because if I did, who knows, I might get hurt again. And anything is better than suffering the pain of that.

I don't know when it all started...

slow erosion can be very vicious because they happen subtly, almost without us really noticing them…

Before we know it, we find ourselves sitting on the couch at different ends, no longer touching, no longer kissing, wondering what has happened to us, brushing it under the infamous carpet of “that’s how married life goes”…

When it's been too long...

When there have been too many years of anxiously wondering if our partner loves us, if we are doing anything right by them, it is sometimes too late: the wounds and the feelings of rejection, and hurt are just too deep to even imagine the possibility of healing.

Sometimes, couples will come too late, after years of isolation and despair, year of unsuccessful attempts at connection, of unsuccessful attempts at proving themselves worthy of their partner's love.

It's not about the dishes...

That’s because it’s never really only about the dishes, or who is dropping the kids today at school.

When couples fight, it is indeed very often less about the content of what they are fighting about than it is about the meaning they attach to each other’s actions: "Do you see me? Do I matter to you? Am I important to you?”