Couples
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe... dark... motionless... airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C. S. Lewis
Do you feel like there is a wall between you?
Are you caught up in repetitive arguments that you can't seem to solve?
Do you feel lonely or shut out in your relationship?
Is there or has there been an affair?
Do you feel as if you are leading separate lives?
Are you burnt out trying to reach out to your partner or having to constantly avoiding conflict?
Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells ?
If you answered yes to any of the above, I might be able to help you.
I will help you to defeat the negative patterns that have taken over your relationship and you (re)-create a safe and secure emotional connection with your partner. It is from that place of secure connection that important decisions can be made in life and that we can grow as individuals, knowing our partner will always be there and have our back, our best interest in mind.
It is when that sense of safety is questioned that negative cycles arise, firing partners’ protecting strategies and thereby blocking further connection. Reactivity leads to more reactivity and all softness gets lost in this demonic dance. Underneath these reactive moves are universal attachment fears, fears of loss, fears of inadequacy and unexpressed needs for connection and safety.
My approach is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is today the gold standard of treatment of disconnected couples, with a 70-75% success rate.
Although my couples coaching method is not EFT Therapy, it is based on the exact same principles and theoretical underpinnings, namely leveraging the power of attachment to break negative patterns and create deep meaningful connections...for life!
“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need”.
— Marshall Rosenberg